No, it is actually snowing.
A lot.
And, for the very first time in some months, i'm starting to get quiet. (let's hope it will last). (should we?).
(maybe).

ok.
maybe i got turned a little bit upside down (funny how i did not change that much through all this mess), maybe now i feel more than ever the way i needed it.
things get done centuries before we realize.
ican'thelpit-ican'ttakeit-ican'tstandit, maybe we should just close our eyes and let our feelings bring us anywhere, maybe we would be a little bit more faithful to ourselves this way, maybe we should throw ourselves down from the top of a mountain and hope on. it would make some sense.

snow outside my window, snow inside my mind, i'm happy, i'm happy.
i'm probably acting like a child. in love with problematic and potentially harmful things just because they are still amazing.
but damn, i feel good. i would fly a thousand miles above just to hear the whole world singing (i don't think the world sings. but i may try, you never know.)
or i may sing my lungs out myself. or shout very loud. that would be nice.
you should never repress.
(but i'm not completely sure about it).

(maybe you should learn to repress and then choose whether to repress or not).
(maybe I should).

Oh well.
7 months since i last wrote a journal.
To cut a long story short: holidays came, holidays passed away, i needed them so! i had my crazy travel to Ireland with friends and all my rambling around (you know i'm such a wanderer)and then i came back expecting to find a normal, relaxing old life. (i always expect that; maybe i should start considering that it has been ages since i last had what you'd define a relaxing life, and that i seem to be allergic to the world "normal").
and of course that was the time everything got upset (but i started to think that i should blame myself for at least an half of it, since i seem to have a special talent for ending up in messy situations). i gave my being safe and sound up (what a clever little girl i am), and that was the right thing to do and it hurted a lot, etc. but i found something great. and scary. (no word about it. just no word for now. it's still too much). and a little cat now living with me, who got named Lena (she's such a wild one but nah, she's not the scary thing).
and i ended up tired out as usually and holidays came again and i needed even more than last time. and they passed away again. and now i'm pretty ok. i mean, i feel as if things were working the right way now. and believe me, i hope so.
but well, i'm still the same, with all my childish fears, all my little wishes, and dreams.
i just keep the faith.
so, mr. Rainmaker, don't waste your time with me!...

hugs to all my friends and best wishes for the new year!
datzkale, or anna, or maddie, or whatever you want! (or a crazy sixteen actually crazier than ever)

i just submitted one of my old writing and i'm probably going to post another one (the last for now!), much more recent, which i'm very fond of. So: i'm so sorry about the language, i should try to translate but my english still isn't good enaugh at all. i'll find a way somehow, i don't want you to find in your watchbox something incomprehensible for you (i think it may be a bother). for now, lot of thanks for those who took my writing and translated it by themselves THAT'S ABSOLUTELY NICE OF YOUUUU!
a question for my beloved watchers. i use to post almost only those pieces of work that are meaningful to me, and this mean i exclude a lot of sketches, little comix and other stuff that i wouldn't define "art". somebody suggested me to post them too. i'm not sure at all. i don't know. would you be interested in seeing them too? maybe as scraps? let me know!

QUESTIONE DI TEMPO.
, would be much more correct.
Questione di tempo, a matter of time, and will, and enthusiasm or tiredness, of everlasting engagements and business, and when you have time you are soooo exhausted and you would do none of all those things you used to dream when you were busy. And you waste so much time. i alredy spoke about "my habit of spending many of my peaceful times feeling bored or void, and being tired but still full of hopes and straight during the busiest and most chaotic ones", haven't i? that's it.
maybe another habit of mine is this one, of feeling i'm wasting my time everytime i'm doing less than 5 things at the same time. and i know i really need to relax, to breathe.
breathing. i felt like breathing when i realized that school was really going to finish. and that weeks of care and hard work were giving results, and i was facing a quiet and free summer. the last one was surely the hardest school year i've ever spend so far, it "starved and near exhautsed me", but it's all right, even with greek. and you know, you feel like breaking away when summer's starting.
but it's only a matter of tempo, of weather, and of mood, of those grey skies out of my window, making this old sick world look even more tired than me. and summer went away, saying: "i'm fed up of so many people not deserving me, maybe i'll come back, or you may not see me again and forget everything, maybe one day you'll talk about me to children born and grown up in an eternal autumn, who knows."
ok, my mind is always the same bizarre fanciful oddly-working restless old thing. and the truth is that this unsure weather really deletes me. i'm not drawing nor writing and i don't feel very enthusiastic about anything. maybe it's only a little bit of dormancy after so much tiredness, and then it will start working well again. but many things seem not be working well. many people feel bad or lonely and i can't find anything to do to help them. and why don't i feel as good as i can, i must be mad, i
must
be
mad.
it will improve, oh it will. i'm just too moody and too tired, as always. and still hopeful. as always.
"you don't need to despair" she said, smiling. and she faded away.

A COUPLE OF GOOD THINGS.
i haven't told anything since before leaving, so i must say argentina is an amazing place!aye, i took lots of photos too, maybe i'll scrap someone, we'll see.

4000 pageviews+subscription! whoa, nice. thank you, mates. and thanx to =Pharaviel for the sub!!!

during the last, busy, distressful month i had time enaugh to spend one whole evening(!) in the city centre painting children's faces. i didn't think it was so, aww, nice! one of the nicest things i've ever done. little faces turned to butterfiles skulls dragons landscapes animals vampires bats hanging around, shy huge eyes, a lot of enthusiasm for few coloured strokes of my brush.. a friend said, you're making many itinerant pieces of art. and of course he was joking, but well children really seemed to think so. isn't it amazing?
aww i was one of these painted faces few years ago! but i think i'll never stop being a bit like them.
by the way, this awesome photo was taken there right while i was painting the last child.
₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪₪
the models are two great friends of mine, an amazing and amazingly-sounding fender jazz bass dated about 75, and my beloved, wonderful brother (who has just turned 18).
Take care!
hugs to all my sweet, fantastic friends and thanx to those who have the patience to read my endless journals!

↑Datzkale (or the same old thirteen actually looking out of her window)+shoda the fish

NOTE: i think it is important for me to give you the chance to understand what i feel and think. at least, my drawings, writings and pieces of work are made out of those things, and i want you to have the chance to understand them as well as possible. that's why i use to spend all my journals talking about my state of mind, my mood, and so on. this is not a blog or anything like that, all right. i'm not going to tell everything happening to me. however, i think you can not divide your art from your thinking, so every now and then i choose to show something you may need to better understand my work if you want. thank you anyway!

There is something bizarre, even paradoxical, in my habit of spending many of my peaceful times feeling bored or void, and being tired but still full of hopes and straight during the busiest and most chaotic ones.
If i think of how school is exhausting me, of all those things i have had to do since ages ago and still i don't find the chance to do, of all the interests and friends i would like to share my time with, and to all the anxieties (am i taking too much time for this thing? and what could i do if i didn't work it out? how can i do all those things before tomorrow? and so on......................................) worrying me when i don't sleep enough, i get surprised to be still alive and (almost) sane, i must say.
Instead, i do feel tired and frustrated for all those things i can't do and people i can't meet, but i'm also full of ideas and, on the whole, very hopeful.
All right, i'm a bit too moody to say that this will last, but for now it is ok. I'm feeling ready to face -to face what?-...to face time.
That damn old thing called time has always caused the 60% of my trouble with the world!
To face, to face, to face......
I don't know what.

Did you see? I kept my promise! i did posted 4 works before leaving! now, 4 in a month is such a record. Dats has been a good little girl this time! Brava Dats!
And thanks to everyone (from the very bottom of my heart) for all the wandeful fiendship, the encouragement, the support!
I have to apologize too: i haven't been commenting anyone's works for ages. Mind you, it isn't that I'm not checking you out, I am as much as i can. It is that often i don't find the time to write a good comment, so please be patient (time damn time!), I will remedy, I swear i will!

Oh aye i'm leaving (right because i wasn't busy enough yet)! from 19 to 30 i will be in Argentina, then i will come back home, I will stay just 2 days and finally Venice, 3 days with my class fellows.
Maybe i will get rid of writing a journal or something from there, let's see.

Love!
Dats
(or a tired, moody -and pretty happy- thirteen who feels like writing something new and maybe sounding stupid -but still pretty happy- on her journal)

Yes. Yes i do. Sometimes.
Really!
To be true i can't believe it myself, but i'm finally 16, that's it.
My birthday was right yesterday.
And I do like my birthday, of course! this one (the whole week) is being really funny and full of lovely people. i am really enjoying it.
I like this part of the year, too. In the town where i live february is such a short breack between fog and rain, and it is usually sunny and often even windy. The air is still cold and it smells like ice, but it is alredy warm enaugh to enjoy being out. My mood often turns to happy for nothing.
The other side of the coin is that i spent the most of my birthday attending a greek lesson. I saw my marks of the first school turn, and they were ok. I am pretty satisfied of how much my latin improved this year, but i still don't get on with greek at all! it is such a coplicated language! so my teacher thought i need some more lessons. great! (aye she's right but this is not important! i mean it was my BIRTHDAY!). ok, no matter.
and another bad thing is that 16 sounds SO MUCH! it sounds like almost-grown-up-person-going-to-be-adult-and-serious-and absolutely-not-mad. 15 still sounded so young! so i got up in the morning, had a little taste of how being 16 feel and then decided to turn THIRTEEN once more.

i forgot to make you know that i started working to a play (for theathre) as sketch writer. i find it very interesting -the way so many kinds of art (my drawings, dance, singing, of course drama and much more) made by so may different people, and so many ideas of the same story, so many feelings and different points of view can join up thoroughly.
i haven't written anything since chrismas so i hope your chrismas and new year day to have been great, and your carnival too, if you use to celebrate it.

thanx to everyone and love
Datz
(or a thirteen with 3 years of experience who's not going to grow up at all nor to turn to a more serious person)

ps: a friend plaited some locks of my hair with little bells and i tinkle every time i move. lovely!isn't it?

_ҒЄЄĿΪתּĠŞ&ŦЂסƯĠΤЂŞ_________________________________
The only place where you can dream, living here is not what it seems.
Ship of white light in the sky, nobody there to reason why.
Here I am, I'm not really there, smiling faces ever so rare.
A let's walk in deepest space, living here just isn't the place.

Stalks of light come from the ground, when I cry there isn't a sound.
All my feelings cannot be held, I'm happy in my new strange world.
Shades of green grasses twine, girls drinking plasma wine.
A look at love, a dream unfolds, living here, you'll never grow old.

Don't you hear me call? Ooh
[link]

________________________________________ ________תּЄשŞ_
ehm..ok, enjoy your holidays!
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