No, it is actually snowing.
A lot.
And, for the very first time in some months, i'm starting to get quiet. (let's hope it will last). (should we?).
(maybe).

ok.
maybe i got turned a little bit upside down (funny how i did not change that much through all this mess), maybe now i feel more than ever the way i needed it.
things get done centuries before we realize.
ican'thelpit-ican'ttakeit-ican'tstandit, maybe we should just close our eyes and let our feelings bring us anywhere, maybe we would be a little bit more faithful to ourselves this way, maybe we should throw ourselves down from the top of a mountain and hope on. it would make some sense.

snow outside my window, snow inside my mind, i'm happy, i'm happy.
i'm probably acting like a child. in love with problematic and potentially harmful things just because they are still amazing.
but damn, i feel good. i would fly a thousand miles above just to hear the whole world singing (i don't think the world sings. but i may try, you never know.)
or i may sing my lungs out myself. or shout very loud. that would be nice.
you should never repress.
(but i'm not completely sure about it).

(maybe you should learn to repress and then choose whether to repress or not).
(maybe I should).

Oh well.
7 months since i last wrote a journal.
To cut a long story short: holidays came, holidays passed away, i needed them so! i had my crazy travel to Ireland with friends and all my rambling around (you know i'm such a wanderer)and then i came back expecting to find a normal, relaxing old life. (i always expect that; maybe i should start considering that it has been ages since i last had what you'd define a relaxing life, and that i seem to be allergic to the world "normal").
and of course that was the time everything got upset (but i started to think that i should blame myself for at least an half of it, since i seem to have a special talent for ending up in messy situations). i gave my being safe and sound up (what a clever little girl i am), and that was the right thing to do and it hurted a lot, etc. but i found something great. and scary. (no word about it. just no word for now. it's still too much). and a little cat now living with me, who got named Lena (she's such a wild one but nah, she's not the scary thing).
and i ended up tired out as usually and holidays came again and i needed even more than last time. and they passed away again. and now i'm pretty ok. i mean, i feel as if things were working the right way now. and believe me, i hope so.
but well, i'm still the same, with all my childish fears, all my little wishes, and dreams.
i just keep the faith.
so, mr. Rainmaker, don't waste your time with me!...

hugs to all my friends and best wishes for the new year!
datzkale, or anna, or maddie, or whatever you want! (or a crazy sixteen actually crazier than ever)

i just submitted one of my old writing and i'm probably going to post another one (the last for now!), much more recent, which i'm very fond of. So: i'm so sorry about the language, i should try to translate but my english still isn't good enaugh at all. i'll find a way somehow, i don't want you to find in your watchbox something incomprehensible for you (i think it may be a bother). for now, lot of thanks for those who took my writing and translated it by themselves THAT'S ABSOLUTELY NICE OF YOUUUU!
a question for my beloved watchers. i use to post almost only those pieces of work that are meaningful to me, and this mean i exclude a lot of sketches, little comix and other stuff that i wouldn't define "art". somebody suggested me to post them too. i'm not sure at all. i don't know. would you be interested in seeing them too? maybe as scraps? let me know!